Having lived in or around London all my life, I think I’ve had a decent amount of time on the underground. As I’ve grown up my experience with this transport system has grown into a daily grind. It’s a love hate relationship in that I hate it but it gets me where I need to go. This is it’s only redeeming quality.
Here are the reasons I am not a fan. Beware for some rants coming up.
My Height
I’m 6’4. That’s 194cm for you metric system people. The underground does have trains that can accommodate people like me, but they are few and far between. The fact that most of the trains have doorways that are for people around 5’5 means that I am forever bending.
Now the centre of every train is easily tall enough to stand up in, but if it’s busy, then I’m stuck like Quasimodo in the corner, shrivelled up against a door and next to people’s faces. When I’m about to get off the train, I have a choice – either do some sort of standing limbo, or stand back and stand normally. The latter would be fine, were it not for the small people of the world who think that means they can push in front!
Outsiders
Everyone starts off as an outsider to London, whether you’re just visiting the city for a day/week or two, or you’ve just moved here permanently. What this means is that everyone will have that first tube journey. There’s nothing wrong with this – I’ve been to other cities. I’m aware it’s confusing at first. What this does not excuse is the people who stand IN MY WAY. Yes, I understand you don’t know whether to go northbound or southbound on the Jubilee line. Yes, I know the map showing you which direction is at the bottom of the stairs. This does not mean you should stand in front of it with suitcases and block the entire entrance to the platform. Just because you’re being slow, doesn’t mean I have to be.
Slow Walkers
A bit of a combination of the above really – I’m tall, so I walk quickly. I have long legs, I cant help it. Other people are apparently not so good at walking, and require longer to go places (these people regularly are the outsiders discussed above). If there is a tunnel or a platform to walk down, chances are I’m going faster than you. Again, no problem with people who walk slowly out of my way, but whyyyy do people need to walk slowly next to each other and block off traffic lanes. You wouldn’t do it on a motorway without being beeped at, so why do it on the underground. I need a horn.
Bloody Unions
Lastly, as Adam Kay and Suman Biswas once sang, “once again the tube’s on strike”. I mean I know I’m not old enough to have lived through the time when the unions had proper power, but has there been a more annoying workforce than RMT, the people who work for the tube?
It seems like every week there’s a new threat of a strike. I don’t even want the night tube that much. It’d be easier, yes, but it’s currently just meaning that I can’t go places every so often!
Either accept the much-better-than-everyone-else salary increases or find a new job!
Tom Blogs 